Taurus and the second house represents our stability (financial and home-life), security and value (both what we value and how we see our own value). As an earth sign ruled by the planet and the goddess Venus, Taurus is a very feminine energy. Not that the bull (the symbol of Taurus) isn’t fierce. It is. And the fixed quality provides traction for us to drive forward in our work and goals. Personally, my airy, un-grounded nature loves the structured, steadfast earth element.
Before I get into what I really want to talk about, which is self-worth, I want to talk astrology and put this concept in the context of my personal chart. Taurus and Venus are important for me because I have a significant Venus placement: Venus in Taurus in the 8th house directly opposing Pluto in Scorpio in the 2nd house. Venus is happy in a sign she rules and being in the 8th house of her opposing sign Scorpio, gives me a strong fascination and love for the deep, raw and mysterious. However, with Venus and Pluto in opposition there’s inherent tension. I often feel torn between luxuriating in the soft, cozy comfort of Taurus (a sign known to love beautiful material goods, sensuous experiences, and home comforts) and the desire to go deep into myself and the world (Scorpio). It gets more complicated because Pluto in my 2nd house creates a destabilizing force around my personal sense of security and value. Basically, there’s a deep karmic wound in my second house self-worth and personal finances.
Pluto represents a challenge in whatever house (life area) it’s placed in. Pluto is a difficult hurtle. One that can feel insurmountable. Impossible. I’ve found this to be true for me regarding self-worth and self-value. I do not feel innately valuable in anything I do. I’m not saying this to complain or play victim, rather I see it as part of my karmic wounding or soul work I need to address in this life.
I’ll give you an example of this Pluto wounding in my 2nd house. When I first started working jobs, I accepted very little compensation. I remember babysitting for a family friend and getting paid $2 an hour. This child was not low maintenance. I remember feeling insulted by the paltry compensation but said nothing. This inability to advocate for myself and demand fair compensation for my time and skills followed me into adulthood. For years I accepted much less than I was worth. I worked tirelessly to prove myself but when it came time to advocate for a raise, I shrunk away. Instead of coming up with reasons why I was valuable, I could only think of reasons why I wasn’t.
I made up a lot of reasons why I didn’t deserve more. This mentality permeated all areas of my life, not just my finances. I had many dark years of drug addiction and mental illness that simultaneously resulted from and exacerbated my feeling of worthlessness.
Like most of us immersed in western culture, I learned to equate my self-worth with doing and having. Before I move on, a caveat: it is important to work hard and prove your worth by being disciplined, focused, and dedicated to evolving your skills (in whatever field you’re in). Saturn anyone? The entitled, lazy individual is not attractive. There’s a sense of pride and strength that comes from working hard for something, not to mention we develop and learn by working hard. However, I believe as a culture we see our external achievements directly equating our value as a human being. This is a masculine way of looking at value that doesn’t consider the value of simply being.
Our culture promotes and values progress, production, and glamor. The Divine Masculine has been blown out, and as a result striped of its divinity. From a young age we are bombarded with images of external beauty and perfection, told to DO, produce, and stay busy. We’re told this is what makes us valuable members of society. We get so lost in the onslaught of media and advertisements that we forget that we are innately valuable without any adornments.
As a culture, have we forgotten that we are worth something innately?
As a yoga teacher and practitioner, I’ve put a lot of energy into understanding ego. It’s an enormous topic, one I plan to write more about on this blog in the future. For now, I’ll be as brief as I can and look at how our ego prevents us from feeling our true worth and value.
The ego has two sides. The ego is the voice that says, “I’m so awesome. Look at what I’ve accomplished. Look what I can do,” and the voice that says, “I’m terrible. I can’t do anything. I’m so bad at this.” This is the same entity, two sides of the same coin. A healthy ego isn’t about balancing these two sides, but rather being aware of these voices and narratives. Being constantly aware of your ego requires an immense amount of spiritual work. If you think your ego doesn’t have the upper hand, you can be sure that it does. Those who have their ego in check are aware of it constantly trying to take the reins. The key is to recognize what your ego is and how it inhibits your spiritual and emotional growth, and become the master of it.
Our ego gets in the way of our soul voice. Your soul voice is that deep inner essence; it’s the part of yourself you feel connected to when you’re totally in the moment. It feels warm. The most common time we experience this soul voice is when we’re with someone we love, in nature or meditating. The many facets of our ego prevent us from feeling this soul voice, this warmth within us. The ego is like a wall that’s very difficult to penetrate.
Our sense of self-worth and value becomes compromised because our ego is linked to our identity (Aries). Our identity (especially in our western culture) is built on external factors: what we look like, what we do, what we like, what we don’t like and how skilled we are to name a few. Our egos have been conditioned to want external validation and it seeks it based on the things it’s identified with. In the modernization of our world, spiritual truths (ways of living in direct connection with our soul voice and spirit) have been lost. We’ve forgotten how to exist as a human being without these external factors. When we sit with ourselves- our true selves, just as we are- we touch our inner essence. We connect to our soul voice. This part of us needs nothing from the outside to be satisfied or validated. Deep down this innate sense of value exists in each of us. We just need to remember it.
There’s a quote from yoga teacher Bernie Clarke that I repeat in my classes often: “We don’t use our body to get into the yoga pose; we use the yoga pose to get into our body.” In other words, it’s not about what the pose looks like from the outside (or in the mirror), but how it feels on the inside; it’s about what the pose is yoking within you.
It’s not about how you look or what you can do that determines your value. It’s simply what you are innately. Yoga helps us remember who and what we truly are. The pure essence of your soul. If you wipe away accolades, possessions, and status you are left with yourself, your real, pure self. Now, tell me, what is that worth?